Aperture Investment Opportunity #4: “Boots”


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investment



#Aperture #Investment #Opportunity #Boots

Hello, investors. Cave Johnson here. Now, I know you’ve sunk a lot of money into the Dual Portal Device. But I’m here to tell you we’re not banging rocks together over here. We know how to make a quantum space hole. (Off-mic) Caroline? See? Portal here… portal there…

Ha, ha! Look at this thing go! Now. We have run into a reproducible human error problem. A lot of expensive equipment getting broken. But don’t worry. Cave took care of it. Gentlemen, I give you the Long Fall Boot. Think of it as a foot-based suit of armor

For the portal device. I’m not gonna lie to you, it’s expensive as hell. But check this out. We told this test subject to just go ahead and try to land on her head. [chuckles] She can’t do it. Good work, boots. So, anyway, we’re between banks right now.

Just make those checks out to cash. Cave Johnson, we’re done here.


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