Game Glitches – Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN)

#Game #Glitches #Angry #Video #Game #Nerd #AVGN

He’s gonna take you back to the past to play the shitty games that suck ass to play the shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii i͡͏̢̧t̷͠͠t̶̸͜͟͠y̶̧͡ ̵̛ģ̀͝͡͡a͏̷͜͝m̸҉͡e͏͏̵̧ś̀͞ ̴̢͜͟͜t҉̸̀h͠͏ą̕͢͟͞t͏҉̸̧͞ s͠uc̢k ̶͠ą̴͜s͜͟s̶̕ Don’t you just hate it when that happens? You’ll be playing a game, and then all of a sudden, it starts glitching up!

Oh come on, Metal Gear’s fucking up now? You blow in the game, jiggle it around, use different consoles, but it still doesn’t work. You know, when this happens, that means that there’s something inside your game. Something that wants to reduce the graphics into a pixellated mishmash of garbage. You’re dealing with…

…a Game Graphic Glitch Gremlin. GREMLIN: Hahahahaha! Good day to you, Nerd! How are you? Good day, sir! As you know, I’m the Glitch Gremlin! And I’ve got glitches in me britches for ya, Nerd! I’ve got bligabagidabada– dialabagi— di gi di- NERD: I’m gonna lay the FUCKSMACK on you!

You think I can’t still play!? GREMLIN: Wouldn’t you say it’s a goddamn look-hard. All the earth tones, the browns, the greens, it’s just like mother nature. I like to bring it into the room. NERD: It’s ugly, like your mom! GREMLIN: Hahahahahahah! NERD: You son of a bitch… GREMLIN: Hmm…

Try and switch the game as you might, but I can switch me glitches tonight! Hoh! And here we have Punch-Out with Iron Mike Tyson. I just ironed out his face! How do you like that? We’ll call him “Shit-faced Mike Tyson.” NERD: You little fuck-nugget, get out of my game!

GREMLIN: Ooh, you’ve been blowing the dust out! I spent all day tryin to get it in there! Well, if you’re going to blow it, why don’t you blow ME? Ahh! I shit all over it. With me glitches. NERD: I almost wonder if the Glitch Gremlin had a deal with game companies

To sell you all kinds of cleaning devices that you don’t need! I mean, would you really need this to clean out a game? It’s just as good for cleaning out your ass! I’ll show you how to clean these fuckers out. Get yourself a Q-tip. GREMLIN: *gasps* Ohhh, not the Q-tip!

NERD: Put a little cleaning solution at the end like that, You don’t want too much, you don’t want too much moisture in the game. GREMLIN: Keep that Q-tip away. Keep it away!! NERD: Aaaand, Glitch Gremlin, be gone! GREMLIN: Ooh! Ah, you’re a real asshole. I’ll be back. NERD: *scoffs*

Of course, some glitches can happen because of programming errors, and can be triggered on command. So for those who want to *be* a Glitch Gremlin yourself, here’s a trick you can try at home. In Mega Man 2, go to the Air Man stage. Make sure you’re equipped with Item #1.

Now it’s time to fight Air Man, but instead, let’s surprise the fuck outta him. Use Item 1 to touch the door and see what happens. Wow. Have you ever wondered what it would look like if the Air Man stage and Dr. Wily Stage Part 2 got thrown together in a blender?

Speaking of Mega Man, I had a unique experience with the fifth game. It happened a long time ago, and I doubt it will ever happen again. Fortunately, I have the evidence recorded on a VHS tape.

It was a long night, and I was hell-bent on finishing the game. I made it to one of the final bosses. Under normal circumstances, I should have been able to see the giant pieces that fly out from the Robot’s body, and been able to use them as platforms.

But the Glitch Gremlin was playing dirty that night. He knew I’d made it far, and that there was no continue code for this late in the game. This was my first time trying to beat Mega Man 5. So, imagine my confusion when I kept getting struck by invisible objects. The platforms were invisible,

But they appeared to be stationary on the robot! Just an illusion, graphical dummies meant to fool me and sabotage my entire night’s effort. My only option was to reset the game, but I couldn’t accept that, so I pushed on. I kept jumping at the air blindly.

Nine times out of ten I’d get hit. Finally after much patience, I got the invisible pattern down and was able to destroy the boss. And that was a great moment in Nerd history. GREMLIN: That’s impossible! I’ve never seen anything like it! NERD: I should get a Gold Medal. Sometimes, games can be unpredictable.

Cheetahmen 2 is a prime example where the whole *game* is a glitch. As already described in my Cheetahmen review, after you beat the fourth-level boss, you get stuck in limbo. So there’s no way to play the last two levels… … unless by a freak accident.

If a blue moon occurs on Friday the 13th, and all the planets align, the game will actually start up *on* the missing levels. The frustrating part is that now I have no choice to play it. It’s not like this is gonna happen again! So it’s like, I got to sit my ass down,

And play the two hardest-to-find, most mysterious levels in video game history. In what’s already one of the rarest games in existence. Huh. What a privilege. Oh, and guess what? It sucks. Yeah, just like the rest of the game. Both levels are called “Level 3,” So that’s FOUR Level Threes in total.

The final boss just runs back and forth. You stand there, hit him ’till he’s dead, and after that, what happens? You guessed it. Now if I ever have to talk about Action 52 and Cheetahmen again, I’m gonna staple my fuckin’ ballsack to the ceiling.

Double Dragon was a game I played so much, I used to find weird things all the time. If you touch the wall on the first level, you can become a human elevator. And if you bring the whip up there, you can do this.

Call them glitches or easter eggs, whether intentional or not, sometimes they can be helpful. Don’t feel like fighting the boss at the end of Stage 2? Well, don’t. Just walk away. He doesn’t even try to follow you, as if saying, “Fine, you fuckin’ pussy.” Tired of fighting those big muscle men?

Just climb the wall. He’s like, “Oh, fuck that, I ain’t going up there.” Probably the most famous of all videogame secrets is the Warp Zone in Super Mario Brothers. It first came as mild amusement when gamers found you could break the blocks all the way up on the ceiling.

Then the moment of discovery came when you found out you could actually get ABOVE the ceiling! Wasn’t that hilarious to see Mario running in front of the scoreboard? But that was only the beginning. If you went past the exit, you ended up in a Warp Zone where you could skip to different worlds.

But then, somebody who had way too much time on their hands found out that if you break some of the blocks and perform a VERY specific jump, you could actually slide through the wall. This still takes you to the Warp Zone just the same. Unless you don’t walk too far.

If you jump into the first pipe right away, it takes you to World -1. Well, it’s just an underwater world that repeats in an endless loop. There’s also an interesting thing known as the “double death.” If you die on a Hammer Brother, try pausing and unpausing.

(Pause sound) If you die on a Hammer Brother, try pausing and unpausing. Let’s check out Mario 2. This game is so much fun. Lifting enemies over your head and slamming them into one another! So cool. UUUUHHH! Fuck ’em up! Whoa, what happened? Let’s try that again. Ohh! I love these POW Blocks, they wipe out all living creatures in sight.

There’s that classic trick where you go in that little dark world, you pick one up, and wait for time to run out. And now, you have twice the POW. It’s Doomsday for this place! Oh no, it changes gravity! The destructive force of the POW Block is so intense,

The rest of the game can’t handle it! Turtle shells and different objects fly all over the place. What happened? Where’d the Bob-omb go? It, like, dropped through the floor. Hmm, I wonder where that Bob-omb went. Aaahh!! Ba-bom-ba-bomb! You know that annoying Phanto fucker?

That face that chases you around whenever you get the key? Don’t you hate that thing? Haven’t you always wanted to kill it? Well, here’s how. You collect exactly four cherries and four vegetables, get the key, let the bastard chase you somewhere you can get a time stopper.

Now, get one more cherry to make the star appear. And hurry up! Time’s runnin’ out! Ungh! Ye-heah! I got him. Finally killed that ass-face. Movin’ on to Mario 3. Yeah, might as well. The Glitch Gremlin usually stays away from this one. Yeah, it’s a little too crowded with demonic possessions.

But nevertheless, it has its share of glitches that you can perform yourself. Like sand-diving and air-walking. As for Super Mario World, there’s a neat trick here too. Go to Chocolate Island 3, get to the goal, Instead of jumping up like normal, you release Yoshi in midair.

The screen is still fixated on where Yoshi was, and you can only see Mario’s legs. But that’s only the beginning. Wow, the stability of all the colors in this world depend on Mario and Yoshi making that jump correctly. For some reason, gamers enjoy finding these kind of glitches.

Maybe it’s because we take pride in finding flaws that the programmers overlooked, or maybe it’s just because we like playing outside the rules. To go exploring. Well, for the boldest of explorers, there’s Mountain King on the Atari 2600. Getting tired of the same old platforms and ladders?

Wouldn’t you like to go to a whole new higher level of gameplay, literally? By performing a very specific jump, you can launch the character higher than usual. Then, you have to land on a very specific spot. If you’re one pixel off, it doesn’t work. And sometimes it doesn’t work anyway.

You have to keep holding the joystick in the direction you’re jumping, and release it at the precise moment. Now, welcome to glitch heaven. A vast world without logic. A place not only of sight and sound, but of mind. By playing with all the switches on the Atari console, you can cause the layout to change. You can also plug different controllers into the second port, like the paddles, or even the Keypad. You can even try the ColecoVision controller or Sega Genesis. It’s like a mad scientist experiment!

I tried for hours, and I still haven’t been able to find everything. There’s been reports of the screen flickering, the character changing size, and strange unknown objects. Will you be the next adventurer to discover the unexplored secrets of Glitch Heaven?

From the old days of gaming until the new, it seems like game glitches will always be around. In Zelda: Twilight Princess on Wii, I was jumping around when somehow I got stuck in a roof!

Unfortunately, I didn’t have it recorded in the act, but I sure tried to recreate it. It couldn’t be done. Let’s play Rocky on the PS2. GREMLIN: Hahahahahaha! NERD: Not you again! What happened to the audience?! GREMLIN: Well you sure packed quite a crowd tonight, Nerd. Ya sure did! Standing room only.

Full house of glitches! Ding ding ding! In this corner, we have, weighing in at zero pounds and zero ounces, Nothing! In this corner, we’ve got… much of the same! Nothing! NERD: No… GREMLIN: Can you hear that? ANNOUNCER: (repeating) “Next up is a fight-”

GREMLIN: What’s that sound? Hm… hm…? ANNOUNCER: (repeating) “Next up is a fight-” GREMLIN: That sound’s a glitch. ANNOUNCER: (repeating) “Next up is a fight-” GREMLIN: You’re a glitch. ANNOUNCER: (repeating) “Next up is a fight-” GREMLIN: Enjoy it. ANNOUNCER: (repeating) “Next up is a fight-” ANNOUNCER: (repeating) “Next up is a fight-”

GREMLIN: Nope. No use resetting. Not gonna do a thing. NERD: Eh, fuck you, It’s workin’ now. ANNOUNCER: “… Spider Rico!” NERD: What was that?! GREMLIN: I put him through the floor! That’s a good one. Good one, Glitch Gremlin! ANNOUNCER: “… from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: Rocky Balboa!” GREMLIN: Oh yeah! I’m glitchin’! Get down with your bad self! Get down! Get down! Get down! whoooo NERD: Wow, I’ve NEVER seen a game this fucked up. GREMLIN: Hmm… Not gonna work! Not gonna wor- What time is it? Not gonna work o’clock! In this corner, we have… Bug-Eyed Balboa!

NERD: What happened to his mouth!? GREMLIN: His eyes are poppin ‘out…! And in that corner, we’ve got Spider Rico! With no jaw! NERD: They’re like zombies! What is this? “Rocky: The Undead Edition?” You are really one sick fuck, you know that? I’m gonna try Clubber Lang.

GREMLIN: Oh, Clubber Lang! That could be a good one Let’s see what else I got up my sleeves Op, I’m not wearing any, but for my final showstopper, feast your eyes on this! GREMLIN: Hhhhhhhhhahahaha! NERD: It’s a Clubber-Fuck…! AUDIENCE: *clap* *clap* Clubber! GREMLIN: (hums) NERD: I need a beer… GREMLIN: Oh, you want to play dirty, do ya? Ping! How do ya like that? Sip on an ice… cool bottle of glitch! Ping! A nice comfy couch of pixelated glitch! Glitch! Glitch! Ping! Ping! Glitch! Glitch! Glitch glitch glitch! Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! ⅁⅂I⊥ɔH! ɡɭɪʇɔɦ !ﻯ꒒ｴￓ￠ꎧ ɠɭįţçђ