I Gave My Goldfish $50,000 to Trade Stocks

I Gave My Goldfish $50,000 to Trade Stocks

#Gave #Goldfish #Trade #Stocks

2 30 a.m time to rise and grind first thing i do is grab breakfast wish i had time to cook but i’m far too busy for that it’s been six months since i quit youtube to trade stocks full time social media is nice and all that i like to get

The day started with just a nice casual drug just relax the body you know get your blood pumping get a good start to the day but the real money is in the stock market now we can finally get to work stock options futures derivatives derivative futures buy come coin take

All your savings put in the [ __ ] coins they trade that option trade that stock cover point is worthless i think every last drop of my common points sell it all off sell it got it and that’s just a day in the life of a stock trader baby i executed the

Stock trade and it gave me money so make sure to tune in next time for listen i don’t know how to trade stocks man i lost all my money on robin hood i have no idea what i’m doing if only there was something that could trade stocks for me Hi i want to give my goldfish frederick the ability to trade stocks now i know what you’re thinking michael you own a goldfish and michael why haven’t you posted a video in eight months anyways this is my life yeah right right right right here we track frederick’s

Position anywhere he is in the tank then every morning when the stock market opens he’ll be prompted with two random companies he’ll choose one by spending more time on that side of the tank then the computer will take his decision and buy that stock with the money of whoever

Is sponsoring this video but before any of that we need to track fish you might think i built my fish tank against a blank white wall because it provides ample lighting and doesn’t over stimulate my fish wrong i did it so i can write the detection software to just

Look for orange pixels of the fish and it won’t get [ __ ] up by a shitty messy background here’s some code i wrote that displays what the camera sees it’s not much but we can add a function in that filters out specific colors like apartheid then we can tell that function

To filter out every color that isn’t orange now this is kind of a complicated coding thing so just try to keep up with this boom we got a color mask but it has these little speckles of [ __ ] in it we just gotta sprinkle some post-processing

Coat on there and clean it right up i did not have to google how to do that shut the [ __ ] up then we take that post-process image find the location there’s a little blob of pixels draw a circle around it then take that circle copy it draw it on the original image

Bada bing bada boom tracking fish fish track and honestly that was most of the hard part i just added some random stuff like the tickers and some logic and i think we’re ready to test it without actual money because i don’t know if it works all right so you should see these lights

Turn on including the fish tank one because it’s wired into this relay box over there and the program should should turn them on automatically any time any time it will turn them god [ __ ] down is it broke no no the lights are on boom stick tigger’s at the top boom the fish

Is choosing he’s favoring the mo one what’ll it be oh what’s he gonna do oh my god the fish bought stuck well i mean he didn’t buy the stock but like he chose a stock this is amazing he bought ultria over boeing good excellent choice i

Think we’re ready to hook it up to the actual stock market it’s actually going to be super easy there’s like a million of these stock market apis that let you buy stocks with just a little bit of code i’m gonna use this one called alpaca api they’re all pretty much the

Same though and really all i have to do is add a few lines to the fish code and yeah i guess i guess we’re done yeah frederick can start trading stocks anytime i’m gonna go upstairs and start it what’s that what is wall street bet wall street bets is a subreddit for

[ __ ] who try to get rich quick on mean stocks like this idiot who recorded himself losing fifty thousand dollars in two seconds their investments are not based on logic here they’re based on memes and attendees those guys are [ __ ] geniuses their stocks only go up wait

What [ __ ] i could have built a bot that scraped the wall street bet subreddit and just bought stocks based on what they posted there should i just start over but frederick already knows how to trade stocks but those guys from wall street bets literally only pick good stocks you’ve seen gamestop you’ve seen

Tesla you’ve seen you saw frederick in there he was [ __ ] incredible just stick to the plan wall street vet said it would be free attendees what do you not get about free attendees i don’t know i wish like if only if only i could make both and then pit the two systems against

Each other in a super sick competition of fish versus man to see which one makes more money frederick takes an early lead by buying nike stock for those dumb asses at wall street best buy lucid and they’re close behind this is going to be a way it’s me

The [ __ ] ass audience michael you can’t just represent an entire community with a computer program yes the [ __ ] i can for this spot to work we need to know how wall street bets feels about certain stocks to do this we’re going to use sentiment analysis which is a natural

Language processing technique that uses machine learning say we’re looking through my youtube comments one says die forever bastard i hate you a sentiment analysis spot would classify that as negative and if we look at another one that says i think you’re great also i have a super cool robot idea for you a

Sentiment analysis bot will classify that as super [ __ ] negative because your idea probably sucks at to train a sentiment analysis bot you need a lot of labeled data so a lot of samples of text that are labeled positive or negative by a human there are a lot of these data sets

Out there that are publicly available but the text is like normal person talking wall street vets they talk about tendees and yolo and boomers stones just yolo very unique vocabulary therefore i needed to make my own data set using their [ __ ] weird wall street bets language so i went to art slash

Wall street bets sorted by top of all time downloaded the top 10 000 posts and all that’s left to do was to label them as positive or negative so i sat down with a nice cup of coffee and labeled the data myself no no that would have taken four or five

Hours that’s [ __ ] stupid instead i spent an entire month learning the react web framework and building a website that would allow users to log in and label the data for me then i tweeted asking wall street vets members to give me their reddit usernames i then plugged

Those usernames into the reddit api got the top 10 accounts with the most reddit karma who were active on wall street best was ten people labeled one thousand post e ten thousand post total and created the data set for me and that’s how you turn a five hour task into a one

And a half month task because i’m a programmer and that’s what we do i use that data set to train a sentiment analysis bot and now every morning when the fish is trading stocks this spot is going on our slash wall street desk it’s looking through the top post of the day

Until it finds one it likes and then it buys the stock that that post is talking about so that’s how that works let’s get back to the competition and see which one is better at trading stocks insane things are happening michael there’s crazy stuff going on interesting buy

From wall street bets i don’t know if the gamestop play is going to work out people love games michael they [ __ ] love games big tank from wall street bet could be like another 911 situation fish is going crazy buying costco and facebook facebook then meta now it’s a

Crazy day there’s a lot of volatility right now very confusing i don’t know where this one’s gonna go i’m gonna get an expert’s opinion on this for sure have a nice day Hey this is graham stefan he does financial investing videos and is also rich as [ __ ] hello so you do you have you do money yeah you have money i came to ask you questions i’m going to give you two portfolios i just want you to

Look them over which one do you think is better oh okay okay portfolio one’s interesting now portfolio two ah okay we got a lot of the memes here the market’s been down pretty much everything has been down last three months yeah but if i were to i would feel way more

Comfortable with the first one what if i told you that an algorithm aspect all of these stocks i would believe it i’m gonna give you the performance wow the algorithm is uh performed now this is only over three months for the portfolio one is managed by more by frederick um

This video is about investing so like maybe giving viewers an opportunity to invest into a fund that is managed by my fish so it’s a fish yeah i’m back things have been going crazy what did graham say his money is on the fish peaks in the valleys for wall

Street’s bets it’s better it’s better than bigger than anyone they can win but graham’s money is on the fish i [ __ ] hate you graham stevens big ball what the [ __ ] what’s that what is that huge it’s not looking good for wall street bets right now at all what is that what

Is that this could be it it’s climbing it’s the climbing it’s to the moon oh it [ __ ] died the fish won let’s [ __ ] go red red [ __ ] you wall street vets get [ __ ] on by the fish [ __ ] girl that settles it fish is the superior technology so that’s it right no i think

I can use this fish technology to create a legitimate business i’ve been working on a startup proposal for the last couple of days and i have a meeting set up to try and get some investors so i’m gonna it’s like a venture capitalist startup meeting except it wasn’t that at

All it was like this weird [ __ ] hype house for startup founders so each one of these people has started their own company and the management has allowed me to pitch my startup idea to them hello everybody my name is michael i’m here representing briefly a small fintech startup you’ve seen it all

Happening already articles like this this this a lot of inexperienced people are losing money in the stock market that’s where briefly fits in we have a couple of algorithms going wsv mainly sentiment analysis the second fish tracks analyst movements wsb is performing well below market average but

Fish is outperforming the nasdaq by some 13 last quarter honestly the main reason i’m here is because the performance of that fish technology it’s performing very well but generally we think it can be performing even better pretty sure it comes down to a few things tank health clarity like of the water

We’re probably going to be improving food and like better filters in general i already covered that we need to know how long the fish can perform looking into the data the lifespan of the species is generally around 8 to 12 years we think that with better water parameters and more attention to the

Food we can get up to an outlier of 20 plus years the fish name is frederick and that uh thank you do you have any i have a lot of questions so the fish is determined in your stockpix yeah it’s fish it’s the it’s well it’s

Fish is the idea so um we’ve got a front-facing camera the fish is prompted with two stocks whichever side spends more time on just that stock uh do you have any more questions you know not everyone can see the vision and that’s okay i’m not i’m sounding

Like i’m mad i’m not not mad or anything [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] why don’t they understand [ __ ] i guess the world just isn’t ready for this technology all i wanted to do was get super super super [ __ ] rich but maybe i don’t deserve it but i think i

Know someone who does so i sold all the stocks in the portfolio and withdrew the money this is the exact amount of money frederick has made so far one thousand seven dollars and 59 cents can you believe my goldfish made this and then i

Went back to where i got him i got him from this tank and now he’s doing such big things excuse me i’m looking to get some like better filters and food they’re really good filters awesome i will grab this what about food stuff like this i’ll have some fancy [ __ ]

The rest is for Sorry that frederick for frederick the rest of it yeah the rest is for even keep the rest frederick made it thank you when michael why did it take you so long to make the video i don’t [ __ ] know it feels like i blacked out for eight months and still somehow managed to

Procrastinate the video until the last minute like a dumb ass but hey he’s still faster than internet historian baby that’s what matters and as for frederick he made enough money to retire he’ll live out the rest of his days in fish paradise that’s the end of the video thank you

For watching if you liked it you can subscribe so you can catch my next upload in 2025. shout out to um frederick for making this possible shout out to um god jesus catholic jesus oh i made this poster for myself using the data from frederick versus wall street

Bets because all the graphs needed to be an 8k so why not i figured i may as well sell it so if you want it you can have it and if you don’t want it you do not have to get it it is [ __ ] gargantuan

Though it’s like my height i mean i’m a short [ __ ] person but like it’s still a gargantuan poster it’s like five feet long it has all the brands and when they were bought by like who with the exact times it’s very it’s it’s it’s lit if

You want it you can go to my new url pissbaby.art is no longer my store or whatever i just didn’t like the weird toilet humor i’m trying to go in like a more elegant direction also i forgot to renew the domain and so somebody stole it so now

Pissbaby.store is my new best friend it doesn’t matter you just click the thing in the description anyway yeah thank you for watching yeah okay goodbye see you in a year the sponsor of this video is public.com do you wish you can buy and sell stocks like frederick well you [ __ ] can’t

He’s special but if you want to get close public is a great place to start it’s a commission free trading app where you can buy and sell stocks follow investors and share ideas aside from taking zero commissions the big draw of public is that you can follow other

Investors look at their portfolios and learn from them and on top of that public will never sell your data or move your trades through market makers which is something i learned about when i was making that uh [ __ ] presentation for the the hype house launch house it can

Cause conflicts of interest depending on who owns what uh the green app does it the other one that i’m not allowed to say you can even follow me at [ __ ] nugget okay um they said i couldn’t use that name so now it is at michael reeves

At michael reads in the public app where i will be investing solely based on the decisions made by my goldfish frederick this is investing so there are risks but if you understand those risks public is an excellent place to start investing and learning so if you’re interested you

Can sign up at my link in the description and when you deposit you’ll get anywhere from three to three hundred dollars in a fractional share thank you again to public for sponsoring this video it was their budget that went to my goldfish and wall street bed spot for

Investing so they don’t know where that went and this is how they will find out thank you goodbye So I thought he was speaking in an extended metaphor and i was like i love how trained his mind is commits so intensely to this analogy of the like the fish to his algorithm yeah and then i was like oh my god

Like it? Share with your friends!


What's Your Reaction?

hate hate
confused confused
fail fail
fun fun
geeky geeky
love love
lol lol
omg omg
win win


Choose A Format
Voting to make decisions or determine opinions
Formatted Text with Embeds and Visuals
Youtube and Vimeo Embeds
Soundcloud or Mixcloud Embeds
Photo or GIF
GIF format